Bottled Water

No BS on this one. Your scribe is not a bottled water drinker. He was at on time however, an avid one, but age and laziness took its toll, plus the tap water where your scribe lives is decent enough that bottled water is not all that necessary. With that said, if you placed two cups of water on a table, and engaged in the infamous taste test, without a doubt one could tell the difference between bottled and tap water, 10 times out of 10, 365 days per year. So why go tap over bottled? Again, it’s pure laziness and that may go away with age (although highly unlikely).

Bottled water used to be reserved for the upper class. The folks who drove fancy cars, wore fancy shoes, lived fancy lifestyles and also had fancy dogs - the types of dogs that would sit in laps and snarl at anyone who dared to pet said pooch. These were also the folks who indulged in refined mustard and crackers without gluten before crackers without gluten were even a thing!

But nowadays, bottled water is everywhere, accessible to everyone so the aristocracy must move on to some other up and coming luxury item (Airpods perhaps?). The first bottled water in the U.S. is rumored to have been fabricated by Jackson’s Spa out of Boston. The year was 1767 and the water was sourced from mineral springs. Thought to have contained therapeutic properties, not only would folks drink this water, they would also bathe in it as well. Once diseases such as cholera came around many flocked to bottled water as trust in municipal providers waned. The types of bottled water you can find on the market today are varied. There is artesian water, fluoridated water, groundwater, mineral water, purified water, sparkling water, spring water, sterile water and well water. If you can’t find the type of water you would like in that group then you’re likely the pickiest person on this planet.

It’s hard to rank the number one bottled water brand. After all, everyone has their own preference. But it is hard to argue against Aquafina. Produced by the Pepsi Company, Aquafina started with straight bottled water and then quickly moved into flavors. Established in 1999, Aquafina registers a whopping $2.52 billion in sales and is also on the leading edge of being an environmentally friendly plastic bottle packaging company as well.

Dasani is a product from rival Coke, also launched in 1999 (any coincidence?) and a fierce competitor of Aquafina. Dasani takes tap water and pushes it through a purification process to remove all the impurities. Dasani also has a range of flavored options in case you grow tired of that water taste. Nestle is another monster, having originated before Aquafina and Dasani in 1992, Nestle waters are sold across 34 countries worldwide and is big on the policy side of protecting natural water resources such as lakes, creeks and ponds.

From here we can go to Glaceau SmartWater, Poland Spring, Danone Bottled, Fiji, it is an endless supply of excellent water. Again, if you’re a tap guy, you’re a tap guy. But there is no argument – bottled tastes better, so take a long hard look in the mirror and make that declaration, “I a good person, I am smart, and gosh darnit, I deserve a good water!”